t’was the night before christmas

Well actually it was the day before christmas, …what day exactly i do not know, days do not have roman names anymore there will be christmas day, seven days later new years day, another seven to my birthday, and then maybe, just maybe i will have a look at what everyone else is calling the days after that.

I have been fairly quiet of recent as you may have noticed, this is because the days have been fairly uneventful, consisting of sitting waiting for the wind in a hammock, reading to my hearts content, smiling on the inside at amusing anecdotes i cannot put down on here in case the people i talk about take my email address, …well except for my annoying overweight middle aged stalker lady who has now gone home, …even if by some weirdo stalker chance she managed to find this, .”Don’t you get it lady, really? or were you doing it on purpose to see just how far you could push the limits of my courtesy before I exploded, …trust me, you came very very close lady”.

I have met some lovely people however, south africans, english, germans, italians, canadians hiding in secret government locations i could tell you but would have to kill you first, you name it, ..when there is no wind people are bought together, both kiters, and none kiters getting thoroughly amused by our staining on the beach with wind meters on one leg desperately trying to stretch to the extra bit of wind that takes the meter from 7 to 8 knots. :)

So finally yesterday I decided it might be time, given the continued prospect of no wind, to take a trip somewhere. I know mum, get back on your chair, a trip, me, the hater of all things tourist trip related, but someone pushed my buttons, …i’m not telling you how in case it is later used against me.
I was undecided at first umping and aahing, about it, but then the annoyance at saying no just once to often kicked in and i thought what’s have you got to lose, ..apart form a day in a hammock.

So off i went on the blue safari, and let me tell you now before anything i relate is tinged with a slight bitter aftertaste, i really did have fun, it was a fantastic experience. We took a minibus to the middle of nowhere, followed by a boat to the real middle of nowhere, and i mean it this time, an island in the middle of the sea about 200 metres wide with a small sandy beach about 50 metres wide on one side (and the other i later discovered).
Here the boat left us (There were 6 of us in total, 2 ozzies, 2 canadians, 2 south africans and me, ..+ 1 local guy …which clearly makes 8 actually :) ), We swam in beautiful waters and even when out of nowhere the skies darkened over and the heavens opened, it was amazing, incredible to be marooned on a desert island in the tropical rain, …and thunder, and lightning, ..and fuck me was there thunder. Apparently sitting in the water in a tropical storm is not the greatest idea :) …oops.

It kept raining, and however hot is was, rain and cloudy skies eventually do their best to remove this form your memory and put a wry smile on your face about the coldness you had been idly wishing for in jest over a beer the night before.
Needless to say after 40 minutes in the water and the worrying proximity of the lightning bolt the 8 of us ended up hunched under an overhanging rock eating from a one coconut between us for just over an hour before it finally stopped raining.
I had to smile i really did, but mostly when it actually stopped raining.

We left the island shortly after that after calling back the boat and went for some snorkelling amounts some coral a few miles away in between a number of islands so small you couldn’t land a garden shed on them which was them followed by a trip to a bigger island where unbeknown to us some men had been marooned much earlier with equipment and the sole purpose of providing us lunch, ..and oh the did, calamari, squid, octopus, fish with green luminous bones, …for starters, ..and then the most incredible brightly coloured lobsters freshly caught for lunch. Anyone who knows me will know that instantly put a big smile on my face, and a big poo in my belly.
After lunch we had some free time to wander the island, so i returned with only the smile and we did some chasing and filming of huge hermit crabs on the beach followed by a little mangrove walk and exploration of the island.

Then it was time for home with a boat trip back to the middle of nowhere, and then the minibus back to somewhere.

I was so happy, i’d had a great day and would remember it forever, ….however for what reasons we shall see.
When we returned to the beach i noticed an unusual number of inflated kites for a windless day, although this did not both me as i knew a horde of italians had arrived, and i know what italian kiters are like, they would have wanted to ‘display’ there kites much like the italian men who ‘display’ there ornaments in their speedos up and down the beach like modern day tartans, so this did not much bother me, …i strolled to the kite centre and it didn’t take long for the truth to hit me, either but self realisation, or the fits of hysterics of those with whom i had sat for 2 weeks waiting for the wind, …for whilst i had been sitting on some far off island hunched under a rock for hours the wind had miraculously and unforecastedly appeared from nowhere to blow solid and strong for 3 hours.
Oh yes i kid you now, ..those fucking italians had got off a plane, marched onto the beach, blown up their kites and …kited.
I wanted to cry so much i had to laugh, ..a lot, for a long time, ..in fact the main solace i could gain from the situation was the unbridled happiness and laughter i was able to bring to the faces of everyone the beach who knew me, …everyone.

So that was my day, …it was still my best here so far, i had a lovely dinner with some newer friends, and some not so knew, we played pool until late and then went for a midnight christmas swim with some who i can only hope might be more than friends and then to sleep, ..as i have it on good authority that christmas may bring the same gifts once more.

It hasn’t of course, ..I am sitting here writing this in my room whilst it pours down outside, ..I awoke nice and early ready for the wind, storm on the horizon as yesterday, and then as the wind started to kick in, ..so did the rain, …tropical and immense, …and now as i draw to the close of this story the storm draws to its close and we are back to the unwelcome stillness i know so well.

HAppy christmas everybody, I hope you receive everything your heart desires, and if you don’t at least make sure you give a smile.